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I really don’t know why I’ve reacted like this. I don’t know if it’s about me, about the toys, the spanking or if it’s about us. Why today and why now? “Please make love to me. I need you right now.” “No, are you out of your fucking mind. I’m not touching you until I know what’s wrong. You have to talk to me.” The thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart are colliding. More sternly and much louder you say “Michelle! What’s wrong?” You’ve rolled off the bed and are standing at the edge. Your hands are out in front of you with your palms up as if to ask a question. I can’t respond. I’m frozen. It’s just pure and raw emotion inside me. Opening my mouth will only set off the stream of tears that I’m trying to fight back. “DAMN IT MICHELLE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!” The dam bursts. Yelling at me was the catalyst that caused my tears start flowing uncontrolled. Trails of moisture run down my cheeks. I need get out, I need to leave. I jump up from the bed clutching the quilt. Her emotions and hormones had been on a roller coaster ride the last three plus months. She broke down and began to cry. ‘I can’t. I can’t do this again. I don’t have the strength to lie to you again. I do love you. I never stopped.’ That was all Nic needed to hear. He pulled her close and held onto her, intending on never letting her go. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,’ she bawled. ‘Shhhh, it’s okay baby,’ Nic held her tighter, stroking his hands up and down her back trying to sooth her. She quieted after a few moments, and he pulled her down onto the couch with him. He wiped the tears from her eyes with thumb, and kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose, until he found her lips. He kissed her lightly at first, but quickly took the kiss deeper, probing her mouth with his tongue. Months of want and desire were pent up and needed to be released. The fire was still there for both of them. After a marathon session of make-up sex, Nic and Allie lay in bed together, clung to one another. Nic.
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